So I caved this weekend and joined into the MySpace revolution… I really didn’t want to do it, but more and more of my friends have joined and I was starting to feel left out… (thank you Chris, Lizzy, Emiy, Jim, Andis, Ieva…) so I did it. I admit it has been interesting to find some old friends from high school, DTS & such on there, and yet…

Yesterday I was walking thorugh town with a friend and I was feeling kinda blue. I wasn’t sure quite why. We sat in the park on a beautiful day and as we chatted, it hit me. Monday night I had been on MySpace, looking up some old friends, and I found some, some that I had been searching for, for quite some time. These were people from years ago, people I went on missions trips with who had such an impact on my life. When I found their sites, I was shocked. It was obvious to me by what they wrote that their lives had taken quite a diffferent path than they or I had thought they would. It made me so sad. What happened? I didn’t, and still don’t, understand it. How can someone be living so whole-heartedly for God, and then turn away? Sure, in my mind it’s sudden, but for them I’m sure it was a gradual thing, but still… how does this happen? I’ve never experienced that before, so I don’t understand it. For me, at times I’ve felt like I WANTED to turn my back on God, for various reasons, but I couldn’t do it. It was like there was the tangilbe hand not letting me go. So, I really don’t understand how someone can live for God one day and turn their back the next. Is it a consious decision they make like, “Should I wear the blue shirt or the green shirt today? Should I live for God or not today?” Or is it a series of little things, small decisions that are made every day that slowly draw one farther away? I would imagine (and hope) it’s the latter, but even still, why wouldn’t that person want to go back to Christ? I just don’t get it.

Please don’t think me young and immature. I’m not new to Christianity. I’ve been through my share of hurt and heartache and have been given plenty of good chances to turn away from God. I don’t think myslef to be more holy or a better person than anyone else, and I’m not trying to be condemning. I’m sad. I’m somewhat hurt. And I’m confused, because I don’t understand it.

I guess the good thing to remember is that one can always come back… He’s still waiting and loving and missing you.

“You must worship no other gods, but only the LORD, for He is a God who is passionate about His relationship with you.” Duet. 34:14 (NLT)

PS Yeah, that’s me in the back row… 15+ years ago. :)